Just Go to SGH

Patient came to my counter asking if my pharmacy keeps the branded form of glucosamine. Told her my pharmacy only keeps the generic brand. Besides, I seriously have no idea what is the original brand of glucosamine; do not think there is one. Okay, I mean it is natural to query about the brands after all there are many different brands of health supplements in Singapore.

What I seriously could not fathom was she asked me to arrange with SGH to send their branded glucosamine to my side so she can pick up the glucosamine from my hospital. I mean if you are so brand conscious why not just see a doctor in SGH and get the branded glucosamine from there? When I told her I am not going to arrange for such thing, she said she will get the doctor to arrange for it. Air head. What can the doctor do when the pharmacy refuses to do the arrangement.

Besides, my guess is this patient is not paying for the medication. Usually the stupid civil servants on pension scheme will make unreasonable requests. If she is a paying class patient she will end up paying much more than the price sold in SGH, and I do not think anybody in the right mind would want to pay 25% more if the taxi fare is going to be cheaper.

Bet she was not able to get the doctor to pressure us into doing the arrangement. Never saw her at my pharmacy for the rest of the day.

No Stock Means No Stock

Wanted to type this during lunch hour today, but did not have the time.

Anyway, a patient came to collect 6 bottles of Cetaphil wash, but my technician only processed to dispense 2 bottles reason being there were no excess stocks in store or main retail pharmacy. When I told the dad main retail pharmacy only has 3 and they need to reserve for their patients as well, he became upset... okay this is an understatement. He became selfish and stupid. Said it is really important for his son to have the medicine. Hmm... is he insinuating other patients are not important and his son is the all important one? To be frank, his son looks fine. He does not even look eczematous so I cannot understand the reason why it is "important" for him to have the Cetaphil wash. *Roll my eyes* It is just a body wash.

I told him this is a retail item not requiring a doctor's prescription and he can get it over-the-counter at any private pharmacies, but he said he need to claim from the insurance company. Fair enough. I then explained that I would return the prescription back to him so that he can collect the balance of the Cetaphil wash. He refused because he would then have to make an extra trip down. I thought there was something wrong with his brains when he said that. What does he want me to do? Snap my fingers or wriggle my nose or wave my magic wand and make another 4 bottles of Cetaphil wash appear?!

I felt like a broken record, repeating the sentence "We are out of stocks" many many times. Apparently his mustard seed size brain cannot process such a simple statement because he started saying how can such a big hospital not have stocks, and insisted I call the doctor and ask about how to resolve the issue. I did not tell him what the doctor said, but my guess is he would have been really pissed off to hear the doctor saying, "Well, tell the dad it is nobody's fault that the company did not deliver the stocks. He just have to come back another day to get the wash. There is no stock so what can we/he do?" I take back my words about him having a mustard seed size brain, he probably did not even have one in the first place. What can the doctor do when the pharmacy does not have stock? The last I recall, doctors are not warlords nor wizards who can make things appear out of thin air. Insisting that I call the doctor did not help his case at all. Anyway, I am sure he must have flunked his Physics and Chemistry back in school because he did not even understand the basic principles that you cannot create something out of nothing; how can I give him the wash if there is no stock in the hospital.

Anyway, I'm amazed he has not started floating around the clinic with the amount of air in his head. A pity he has already propagated and has passed on his airy property. I pity those who have to deal with the 2 air-heads he produced.

Capsule and Hour

Patient called up regarding a medicine he collected. He was confused by the following sentences: "Take 1 capsule 2 times a day. Take half an hour or 1 hour before meals." He called up to ask what it meant by half an hour or 1 hour before meals. ?! I mean what do you mean? My techinican tried explaining that he can take 30 mins before meals or 60 mins before meals. Either way is fine, however, he was still confused. He asked if he was suppose to take half a capsule 60 mins before meals and the other half capsule 30 mins before meals. *faint*

Luckily it was my technician answering the phone else I'll be really sarcastic. She again patiently tried to explain that he was suppose to take the whole capsule, not half, either 30 mins before meals or 60 mins before meals. Later his daughter came to the phone and guess what the daughter asked. The exact same stupid question! "Doesn't the instruction mean taking half a capsule 60 mins before meals and the other half capsule 30 mins before meals?" What the @#$!!^

Stupidity apparently is in the genes. Moral of the story, if you are stupid, don't pass on your stupid genes.

It's Called Penile Tip!

I asked a dad if he knew where the cream was suppose to be applied, he answered yes. When I asked him where exactly was it suppose to be applied, he said, "The doctor says pharmacy side will tell me." Right, I just asked if you knew where to apply, next thing you turn around and tell me I am suppose to tell you where to apply the cream. Smart.

Gave him my are-you-stupid-or-what look and reminded him that he said he knew where to apply the cream earlier on. He then started fidgeting and mumbling something about "that thing" and I half guessed where he was going. It is PENILE TIP, not "that thing". Had to tell him with an irritated look that the cream is to be applied to the penile tip, and the whole purpose is to make it easier to pull down the prepuce or fore skin.

What is there to be shy about? This is the hospital and we deal with human anatomy. The least the parent could do is to trust that we will be professional and not be giggling or blushing when talking about the genitalia. If you think talking about penile tip is something to be shy about, then what about those women who are being counselled on how to insert the pessary into the vagina by male pharmacists?

Why Are You Still Buying Medicine?

A dad came to buy antibiotics for his child. When he saw the number of bottles he need, for 13 weeks, he protested that he does not need that many bottles as he did not bring enough money. I then asked him how many bottles he needed. His reply was, "I only need 1 or 2 bottles." When I tried clarifying with him if he needed 1, or 2 bottles, his answer was, "Yah lah, 1 or 2 bottles." I mean this man is really thick, how am I suppose to sell him 1 or 2 bottles?!

When I told him to make up his mind as to how many bottles he wanted to take, he then said his child does not need the antibiotics anymore. The prescription was actually dated a couple of months back, and upon review today, the doctor told the dad the patient does not need to continue with the antibiotics. Then what on earth was he doing at my pharmacy buying some medicine that was not required anymore?! Does he think this is some cough syrup that you can just buy a few bottles and keep for standby and then start taking the medicine when the symptoms come? Heck, I bet he's too clueless to even know when he needs to restart the antibiotics.

101 Answers to "What is Your Home Address?"

The title says it all, though I profess I do not have 101 answers yet. However, human stupidity never fail to amaze me so if I continue in this profession long enough I am sure I will get 101 different answers to "What is your home address?" I will update the list whenever I get a stupid answer from the patients so do check back once in a while. Another thing before I start, I welcome any contributions from fellow pharmacists or people working in healthcare industry.

1. 6767xxxx. ?! Home address pls, not your phone number...

2. Email address?

3. Why you need my address? I stay in HDB lah.

4. 12-01. That's odd. The last I remember Singapore's address also includes the block no. and street name.

5. Er... I don't know. Hello! You don't even know where you live?!

6. Huh? What home address?

Tablets or Syrup?

The doctor did not write to supply syrup or tablets so I asked the mom if she wanted to collect the medicine in the form of tablets or syrup. The mom told me she does not know if her daughter can swallow tablets. Okay, that is fine, but the odd thing was she turned around and asked me if her daughter can swallow tablets since she is already 6 years old. That is the MOST stupid question I heard today. How on earth should I know if the patient can swallow tablets if even her mother does not know?!

Whether a person can swallow tablets is an individual's preference. There is no hard and fast rule that says, more than 6 years old means the patient can swallow tablets. Heck, I know of adults who cannot swallow tablets. Luckily the husband had more brain, chose the syrup without hesitation.

Do you Come at Night?!

A mom came to collect medicine for her child today and asked me if her child needs to start taking the anti-epileptic medicine tonight or the next morning.

This was how the conversation went.

Mom: So does she have to start taking the medicine tonight or start tomorrow morning?

Me: Start tonight.

Mom: But the medicine is just enough till her next visit date. If she starts taking tonight, then she'll be short of one dose.

Me: ?! I don't understand.

Mom: If she starts taking tonight, then on the day of the appointment she will only have enough for the morning dose, so she will be short of the night dose.

Me: I still don't understand. You don't come to see the doctor in the night. You come in the morning or afternoon, collect the medicine and then go back and take the night dose. How will she be short of the night dose?

Mom: But she has already missed the morning dose for today so why not just miss the night dose and start tomorrow morning?

Me: (Has this women no brain or what. We are talking about epilepsy medicine, not cough medicine.) Because if you continue to let the drug levels to drop, then a seizure may precipitate.

Conversation ended here with me quickly asking for payment in case another bout of stupid questions start. However, it made me wonder if it is good of the Singaporean government to encourage the citizens to have more children. Makes no logical sense to propagate stupidity.